Good news. Apparently Jett was just punishing us for being away.
He’s back now.
Enjoy this classic from the National Film Board of Canada in honour of Jett’s homecoming.

Oh god, I think our $6000 cat is missing. He didn’t come home last night and he won’t come when called this morning.

I’m sure you may be wondering how a regular tabby cat can cost $6k. Funny story. NOT!

In January some dipshit ran him over. My 8 year old was looking out the window at her kitten,frolicking with the blowing leaves, she went to brush her teeth and when she returned to the window he was pulling himself across the front lawn, back end was toast.

The car that hit him broke his pelvis in 3 places and shattered his femur. He was a mess. It took 5 hours of surgery to pin and duct tape him all back together and 3 months in a big dog kennel in the living room, which did not make him happy.

People chastise me for letting him out again but if you could hear the fuss he makes at having to stay in, you’d let him out too.

Last night Jett didn’t come home I’m freaking out. Not necessarily because he’s our beloved family pet, which he is. More because I still haven’t finished paying off his vet debt! I still owe $380. By the way, I personally think that I should get mother of the year for saving the cat when I could have paid off all my debt instead! urrggg.

More than once over the course of Jett’s ordeal I thought that I should have become a Vet. In Canada it costs more for animals to be put back together than people. Sure we have pet-i-care but I bought that for the $1500 Bernese Mtn dog, not the $30 heinz 57 tabby cat.

Anyway, I’ll let you know if he comes home but, for now, I’ll let you peruse his cool xrays that show the broken bones and the fixed bones.

Sad

God I hate homework! I mean I really hate it. Why the hell should I have to learn math all over again, in an entirely different way, than the last time I was forced to learn it?

I don’t get it.

Isn’t the teacher’s job to teach math? If my kid comes home with some math questions that ask things like “write a number sentence for the following” and the teacher does not include a sheet of paper with the definition of “number sentence” why should I be sentenced to math hell?

It’s fine for my kid to be frustrated and annoyed with math, it’s her education. I’ve done it all already!

Luckily this year (grade 6) Layne has a great teacher who does not give me a withering look because Layne (and I) could not complete her assigned homework. Deep down I imagine she thinks I’m a moron but at least she doesn’t let on, to my face. Good thing too because in my usual yoga, zen state, I rarely lose it but I think that having the onus on me to teach my kid stupid math concepts is reason to blow.

The worst part is that I know how to do math, I do. I really do. Swear to God.

I can deduct 20% off of any item in any store in any country in the world. To me, this is the only practical application for math. That may make me sound like an idiot but really, how often are you finding the common denominator for things?

In the last 20 years I bet that has come up 3x. Now with the internet, I don’t even have to know how to do it, I’m sure there is an app for that.

Of course, if there is Armageddon, I’m totally screwed. I’m sure, in a post-apocalyptic world, I’m going to be left behind because I can’t estimate the food intake of the people living in my geodesic dome.

I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.