Three days! Three, 3, three!!!! fucking days!

It took 3 days to trash my new scooter

I really want to blame someone else but have only myself to hold accountable.

I, like most people, have respect for my stuff. I never, knowingly, put my stuff in harms way. While I will stop short of akinning my stuff to my children, I generally take pretty good care of the limited amount of stuff that I have.

I will admit that I have been showing off my scooter this week. I was excited. I had a new toy. I was also excited that my new toy was cool and pretty and perfect. It was definitely show-off-able material. (I like shiny things, what can I say)

There is a reason there are no testosterone-fueled men in my life. The reason is that they have a tendency to look at stuff in a different way.

Take the new scooter for example. I think of it as a cool, jazzy way to scoot around town, doing errands etc. It also provides an entirely new fashion opportunity for me – see me in the goggles a few posts ago.

Enter a man. A man sees my new, shiny, perfect scooter as something to macho-ize (I made up that word. It’s my word and if you want to use it you’ll owe me royalties

This is how the conversation went.

Man: I wonder if you can do a burnout. (rubs his chin in deep thoughtful contemplation)

Me: What’s a burnout.

Man: You just hold the brake and spin the back tire so it kicks up dirt.

Me: Why?

Man: Cuz it’s cool.

Me: OK

Man: Not near my car!

Me: Ok (turn bike slightly around so that the back tire won’t kick dirt on the car)

Here’s where I hold the brake and rev the bike. Nothing happens. I, eventually, notice that I am holding the back brake so the back tire does not move. It’s determined by “man” and I that to do said “burnout” someone else must hold the back brake as it is on the same grip at the revvy bit.

VRRRRRMMMMM!!!!!

Me: (gripping both brakes hard as it goes into the VW Torag parked 6 feet away) Expletive, expletive, expletive!

Kid belonging to man: That’s a bad word.

Me: Go away.

Man: I told you not to have it close to the car.

I hate everyone