As a Social Media Strategist I am fascinated by the power of this medium to bring about all sorts of new, unexpected results.

Take the BP oil spill for example. In the past a company like BP completely screws up, screws the environment then white-washes the entire affair through expensive ad campaigns and propaganda. Not so this time. Enter a twitter page that tells us the truth and BAMB! BP is kicked to the curb, made to own up to their mistakes and, essentially (and rightly so) vilified in pretty much every sort of media.

BP is a great example of how the internet and the lightening-fast dissemination of information is changing the way that business is done. In my ever-optimistic brain, I hope that one day the use of social media will hold all companies to a higher standard where “what’s in it for us” becomes “what’s in it for everyone”. But I’m a dreamer

I decided that I would offer up my own social media experiment. While I spend most of my time providing value to others and preaching that providing value to the public is the corner-stone to a well-run social media campaign, I will admit that there this experiment was born from a more selfish motive. i.e. to, once again, own my own home.

That said, I think that by setting this up as an authentic, transparent experiment I can provide a great deal of value to others who want to use social media to grow their business or help out their non-profit. The successes and mistakes made over the next few months will be well-documented and should serve as a guide of either what to do or what not to do to gain exposure. (I hope it’s the ‘what to do’

Let’s begin.

Here’s the background story: When I had my 2 daughters, 9 and 12 years ago, I was a stay-at-home mom. I had a small photography business but, for all intents and purposes, I didn’t really work. When my marriage ended 3 years ago I had just lucked in to a great job as a Recruiter for a video game company. Unfortunately the Korean company that owned us shut us down and I was left with, essentially nothing, in the worst economic crisis in my adult life.

We had to sell our house in June of 2009. 6 months before, or after, would have garnered about $50,000 more but we had to sell then and so we took a massive hit. My equity share, after any debts were paid, was $19,000. I bought an $11,000 Volvo and used the rest to pay first and last and a pet deposit on a rented home for my kids and myself.

This story is not unique. Far from it. In the recent economy both in the US and Canada there are hundreds of thousands of people with exactly the same story. I don’t even think it’s a sad story, it’s simply the way things are for many of us and there are many worse stories out there.

In addition to the circumstances that bring most of us to this point (not a bad point, just a point) is the fact that it is very difficult to get back into the housing market on your own, especially with a couple of kids.

The choices about spending become a major focus. Do you put your life on hold, no vacations, no movies, no skiing etc in order to save for a downpayment on a home that costs over 3/4 million dollars? That seems a bit crazy. And it’s not fair to the kids.

Most families, at least in Vancouver, have so many financial obligations it would make your head spin and if having a home is a priority it means that you’ll have to sacrifice those things that make the day-to-day fun like sports teams and summer road trips.

So what’s the answer? Is it time for the upper 10% to start finding ways to support society’s lower 90%? I don’t really know.

So I’m conducting this experiment to find out if there is a way to relieve some of the pressure from this middle class who want to give their kids a head start but don’t want to completely, financially devastate their own future in the process.

I’ll be collecting and publishing ideas that people come up with. One idea I had was an investors group that works with the “client” (that would be someone like me) who chooses a house then they work out a lease-to-own arrangement. That way, rather than paying just rent, the client has that satisfaction of working toward their own goals.

What’s your idea?

In our on-going attempt to eat healthy we now make bread, lots of bread.

Think bread-maker on crack.

When we bake bread we make 4 loaves at a time. This activity saves tons of mess and cleanup because when you use a bread-maker you can only do 1 loaf at a time and have to clean up the whole shebang after each effort.

See? Smart huh?

I don’t know how much you know about bread but it’s really not an exact science. Bread is not hard to make, it just flies in the face of everything you’ve been taught about following recipes.

When we first came up with this brilliant plan (motivated as much by $5 loaves of “organic” bread as it was by the whole eating healthy, 100 mile diet thing) we discovered that there are many, many, many ways to make bread without a bread maker. And as many ways as there are (that’s a questionably constructed sentence isn’t it? there are people on the internet with an instructional video.

We followed several of those peeps but they were rarely making whole wheat bread and guess what? There’s a big difference between the whole wheat and the bleached to shit, no nutrients left in it, nasty white nonesense that most people seem to be using. To which I would kindly suggest that they just buy Wonder Bread. It’s just as crappy for you as that white junk you’re making but at least they add a few minerals to their formula.

But, I digress.

Ironically, the very best bread recipe for whole wheat bread came from the side of the bloody whole wheat flour bag. Go figure.

So, after several hit and misses from internet bread-making self-styled gurus, that the kids were required to choked down, we have now hit on a winner!

I’d re-print the recipe for you here but I used up all the whole wheat flour and threw out the bag. You’re now going to have to wait for the new “home-grown recipe” section of my blog or go out and get a bag of whole wheat flour

The image above is Shaye kissing the biggest loaf we’ve made so far. Now we know how commercial bread gets it’s shape! You just put in wayyyy too much bread batter so that when it bakes it goes over the edges of the pan. Who knew?

When you’re 8 a lot of things can seem unfair.

When you catch hell for smacking your sister and leaving a massive whelt (cuz your dumb sister gets hives and any contact with her skin leaves tell-tale evidence), it’s unfair.

When you have to clean up your room because your mom is “too busy” to do it for you, it’s unfair.

Even when you have to do homework! How unfair is that?

Sometimes “unfair” is relative and sometimes something happens that’s really Unfair, with a capital U.

I figure that having kids comes with the responsibility of teaching them how to be good human beings. As far as I’m concerned, I can fuck up every other job I ever do, in my life, as long as I get this one right.

I teach my kids that when they make a commitment, they keep it. No matter what.

To that end, my 8 year old, like it or not, is honour-bound to hold up her end of a bargain once struck. In doing so she has learned to work hard and feel great about the accomplishments she’s achieved.

This past week though, my little girl has been the recipient of, what I consider, a pretty unfair decision.

The details don’t matter but the broad strokes do. A lot.

In one swoop she learned that commitment only applies to her, that someone that has not worked as hard gets the golden egg gets to shove it down her throat to boot!

Awesome!

So now her hard work was for nothing and she gets mocked for not getting the same accolades as the other kid.

Double awesome!

How do I teach her that the behaviour of others should never dissuade her from what she knows is right and what makes her feel good about herself?

How do I show her that it is only her own opinion in her efforts that really matter?

How do I tell my 8 year old that the world is sometimes unfair in the most heinous ways and that sometimes those ways cannot be explained away with adult rhetoric?

And do I teach her to not sweat the small stuff even though, in her life, this is the BIG stuff?

How?

I thought about it a lot. I agonized through 90 minutes of yoga, trying to get my head around this explanation. I think I messed this up with the 11 year old a while ago because she has a great, big protective wall of sarcasm up around her to avoid such disappointment in the adults, and kids, in her life.

I don’t want the 8 year old to have a matching wall. It’s too tough to see through.

My strategy is to cuddle her up, even more than usual. To tell her that nothing can take away the accomplishments that she has achieved. That her worth is more than the decisions made by others.

If you knew the whole story you might think it insignificant. You might think that until you looked into the face, stained with tears, of the most amazing, talented, nice, funny, sweet, loving 8 year old in the world.

You might change your mind then.

I was put on this earth to protect and teach her. Now that I can’t protect her from this hurt, I’m going to have to teach her to put it in perspective.

In a year we’ll look back and think it silly to get so upset. But that’s a year from now. Tomorrow we’ll have to figure this out. It’s not going to be a simple solution. In fact, there is no solution that will teach her more than leaving things the way they are.

And that, my friends, is the saddest part of all.

For the last several hours I have been trying hard to dig myself out of a mis-directed focus hiccup.

I went to yoga but found that, far from zening me out, I actually left in a worse mood. Could be all those bloody hip openings that I hate but know are good for me. Kinda like spinach, only for your hips.

I ate chocolate. This is usually a no brainer. When annoyed, eat chocolate. There is medical research to back this up people! It increases your serotonin and makes you feel really good. At least that was what I was telling myself while devouring it on the couch this evening. After yoga btw.

3 hours of mindless nonsense on TV was next. America’s Got Talent. Stupid Housewives of NYC. I even tried Wipeout for a bit. None of it worked though.

The only thing left was to return to the writing. The thing that got me into this in the first place.

So, I wrote a post about being non-controversial on your blog. But it did little to assuage my annoyance.

Then, I had an epiphany. (or as much of one as is possible at 11pm after a nasty-ass afternoon. BTW, the morning was epic and I’m going to blog about it eventually. After I get to my epiphany)

Epiphany! Right, that’s what I was about to say.

Focus, for me, is about perspective. I was unable to find perspective in yoga tonight. It could not be found in chocolate or tv either.

Tonight I had to bring out the big guns. I had to troop out love to gain some perspective.

More specifically, maternal love.

For me all creativity and focus stems from this. The love I have for my children supercedes all other emotion and when I need to tap into it to get some, hard-found, perspective, it’s there for me.

I am so incredibly grateful for my children. Not just for the idea of them but for the people that they are.

They are bloody brilliant, sarcastic, adorable, insane, loud, occasionally obnoxious and even flatulent but they are 100% authentic. They teach me  what is important and, more importantly, who is important in my life.

All other concerns are moot.

I wish for you all to find your perspective in whatever form it takes and grab it tight. Don’t let the small stuff, or small people or barriers get in your way. Remember what’s important when you need to.

Here is my perspective.

Enjoy. Namaste.