May 24 2010


God I hate homework! I mean I really hate it. Why the hell should I have to learn math all over again, in an entirely different way, than the last time I was forced to learn it?

I don’t get it.

Isn’t the teacher’s job to teach math? If my kid comes home with some math questions that ask things like “write a number sentence for the following” and the teacher does not include a sheet of paper with the definition of “number sentence” why should I be sentenced to math hell?

It’s fine for my kid to be frustrated and annoyed with math, it’s her education. I’ve done it all already!

Luckily this year (grade 6) Layne has a great teacher who does not give me a withering look because Layne (and I) could not complete her assigned homework. Deep down I imagine she thinks I’m a moron but at least she doesn’t let on, to my face. Good thing too because in my usual yoga, zen state, I rarely lose it but I think that having the onus on me to teach my kid stupid math concepts is reason to blow.

The worst part is that I know how to do math, I do. I really do. Swear to God.

I can deduct 20% off of any item in any store in any country in the world. To me, this is the only practical application for math. That may make me sound like an idiot but really, how often are you finding the common denominator for things?

In the last 20 years I bet that has come up 3x. Now with the internet, I don’t even have to know how to do it, I’m sure there is an app for that.

Of course, if there is Armageddon, I’m totally screwed. I’m sure, in a post-apocalyptic world, I’m going to be left behind because I can’t estimate the food intake of the people living in my geodesic dome.

I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.

May 21 2010

Isagenix is My New BFF!

Ok, here it is Day 30 on the Isagenix cleanse and I’ve lost 18 lbs and I don’t even know how many inches (mostly because I’ve been so chuffed about the poundage lost that I don’t really care about inches. Although it must be significant because all my size 10 clothes fit now.)
If you’re thinking about trying the cleanse but haven’t pulled the trigger yet I would highly suggest it.
Here’s a quick list of some of the benefits that I have noticed this month:
1. everyone I see comments on the fact that the whites of my eyes are super bright white. (weird but a telling sign of good health)
2. Oh yah, I’ve lost 18lbs!
3. All my gorgeous, expensive clothes that haven’t fit in 18 months now fit and are a bit loose!
4. I have been able to do 18 straight days of yoga and feel really zen and happy.
5. I’m not yelling at my kids.
6. I’m not thinking about how fat I am, freeing my mind to think about more important things like how to get silly putty out of a fleece jacket.
7. My productivity has gone through the roof.
8. So has my creativity.
9. I plan my meals and cook very healthy dinners with my kids.
10. I look so friggin’ hot right now that a guy that I used to like (and who sent me the “I’m kinda seeing someone now” text even though we had been flirting for quite some time. Guess I wasn’t the only one) dropped his jaw in the schoolyard the other day (yes, I pick up at school, so what of it?! Don’t mock me! ;)
11. My hair is bloody fantastic!
12. Did I mention I lost 18lbs?

Ok, enough with what it did for me. Here’s the deal, I make absolutely no claims that Isagenix will work for everyone. It has done wonderful things for me but, then again, I am diligent and committed. People who aren’t will not get the same results.
If you want to try it or read more about it click on the link on the right side of my blog and it will take you to my Isa home page.
I’m going to post some photos on here in the next few days (once I figure out how to post from the iphone ;)

May 20 2010

Good News! Not everyone is a scam artist!

Ok, for those of you following along on the iphone issue, I have some exciting news.
After much due-diligence on my part, I found a fella that actually sold me an iphone 3gs 16gig for a decent price!
Thank god hey?
Just when I was beginning to think everyone selling iphones online was a shithead, up pops Ron. I’m really happy with him.
Look, bottom line is this; don’t buy an iphone from anyone that wants Western Union. The only way to truly protect yourself is to meet the seller in person, preferably at a service provider’s store. That way you can check the phone right there. Make sure it’s not stolen and be 100% confident that you are getting what you paid for.
K, I have to go now, I want to play with my phone. Yay me1

May 19 2010

iphone fakes are everywhere!

OK, I know I’m harping on the iphone thing but holy shit! These guys are everywhere and they will tell you anything to get you to send them Western Union money.
Even if the phone is legitimate chances are it could be stolen. Now what? If you buy a stolen phone, take it to your provider for activation guess what? They take it from you. Yikes!
K, here’s the best advice to not get burned with a stolen phone…All carriers that handle that specified model has access to the black listed ESN hot list. So, tell them you bought a phone on ebay and want them to run the esn number, tell them you aren’t a customer and you dont want to discuss plans, rates, contracts nothing but the esn number. You will know immediately. It takes me 30 seconds to check. That is your only way to check before you get screwed.
Good luck.