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May 13 2010

I’m not happy for you!

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Ok, I realize that the focus of the blog, to date, has been dieting but you write what you know and, right now, that’s what I know.

Tell the truth, when you see a friend you haven’t seen in a while and she’s lost weight what is the very first thing that pops into your head? Try not to bullshit here because it’s an important point.

I bet you think “I’m not happy for you, you skinny bitch!” But your mouth says “Wow, you look great! You’ve lost so much weight!”

God, you’re such a liar!

Truth be told, that is definitely me. It gets worse if she says something stupid like “Oh, I’ve just been watching what I eat and exercising.” when really, you know, that she’s been at Weight Watchers or on The Zone or whatever.

I have the same reaction when someone tells me their going on vacation or buying a new house. I’m jealous. I admit it. I’m “man” enough to own that.

It’s brutal though, this mind of mine. I know it’s a self-confidence thing to be jealous of someone who loses weight or buys a new home or goes on vacation. I’m just judging what I perceive to be my own failings. But hell, it’s just so much easier to blame her.

Enjoy your day today and try not be a bitch, at least on the outside. ;)


May 13 2010

Reverse Anorexia

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Quick note before you read this: I wrote this post on April 30, 2010. Six days after the photo on the right (if you click the small image you’ll see what I mean) was taken.

Things have changed, a lot since then! (like 15lbs and 11 inches!)

Just sayin’.

Sometimes I think I have reverse anorexia. No kidding! I look in the mirror and I think “hmm, not so bad. Sure, there’s a bit of extra skin (fat) there but if I hold in my gut, I look kind of ok”. Then I eat something that’s wholly not great for me (or that extra bit of formerly mentioned fat) and feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Admittedly, this has been going on for some time. I think I just get used to that extra couple of pounds then convince myself it doesn’t look that bad.

This could explain why most of my clothes no longer fit. Is this some sort of mental illness? Reverse anorexia?

You know how I know that I have this reverse anorexia? Because last weekend I did a triathlon (pic on the left). Felt great about myself. Didn’t think I could do it becaue I’m about 35lbs heavier than when I’ve done any other tris (pic on the right from 3 years ago) and because I’ve been in the pool exactly once in 4 months. However, I did finish and I didn’t suck too heavily. Something like 20 out of 31 in my age group. Granted, when I was on my game I could crack the top 10 sometimes, but I digress.

I did the tri. The stupid tri organizers had bloody paparazzi! (hence horrendous photo of me posted on the internet!) No kidding. I think they were hiding in the bushes and would just wait to catch me at the worst angle imaginable. Urrgg.

I got the photos in an email a few days ago and BAMB!!!! There were my thighs. I couldn’t see anything else in the image because all I could stare at was the sheer mass of me taking up the shot.

In my head I’m a size 8, on that, clearly broken, tri photographer’s camera I appear to be closer to a 16! Yikes man! What a wake up call.

Thankfully I’d already stared the cleanse. I was so irritated by the image that I printed it and put it on my fridge.

Funny thing though, ever since putting it up there, I have not once noticed it’s there. I think I may have to put it IN the fridge to illicit the proper effect.

I’ll let you know how this goes.


May 11 2010

Kickin’ Kid Ass

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Ok, so the title is “kicking kid ass” but it really ought to read “how my kids kicked my ass on Mother’s Day”.

I had this great idea that we would spend Mother’s Day together and I could pick whatever I wanted to do. Sometimes I’m a moron cuz I picked hiking.

I figured since I’m the only one out of the 3 of us who has any experience hiking up mountains I’d be so much better at this then they are.

WRONG!

Stupid athletic kids. After my yells of “It’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon” fell on deaf ears (perhaps because they were so bloody far ahead of me they couldn’t hear me yelling!) I gave up trying to coach them. I figured they’d burn out and be super exhausted about half way up and then I’d make my move.

No such luck.

The little buggers are clearly half mountain goat. This wasn’t any easy, eastern region type hike either. This was full on, British Columbia mountain stuff.

On one hand I’m proud of them, on the other I’m thinking that all those hours I spend at yoga and in the gym are not paying off in the way that I need them too.

I mean, come on! They’re 11 and 8. What am I going to do when they’re 16 and 19? Perhaps by then they’ll be able to carry me up?

Hmmm, I may be on to something here….


May 11 2010

Isagenix Blog – Day 2

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Ok, so Day 2 was a wee bit better. I got on the scale this morning and I’d actually dropped 1lb but that may be due to the fact that I was eating everything in sight for the last 2 weeks and ended up with a Pad Thai evacuation…so to speak (I’m pretty sure you can figure out what I mean here without me spelling it out for you but if that’s not the case…d-I-a-h-r-e-a-h. ;) Not that I’d spell that out for you.

Anyway, that episode prefaced my first day but I, cleverly, weighed myself after the Pad Thai but before the “episode” so the number was good and high. Hee hee.

Moving on….

So this Isagenix stuff is definitely going to have an effect on me because I’ve done nothing but gain weight and get annoyed with the weight gain then gained more weight for the last couple of years. Just the simple process of “being on a cleanse” is enough to shed a few pounds.

That said, I’m not finding it too brutal yet. Tomorrow will be interesting though because I have a spin class in the morning, at 8am. Usually I wouldn’t eat before an early class but it occurs to me that I might pass out and fall off the bike, which would make the instructor super freaked out. Maybe I’ll do half the shake before and half after.