May 7 2010

Isagenix Blog – Day 1

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So you know how when you are about to start a diet you eat everything in sight because you know it’s going to be the very last time, in your life, that you’ll ever allow yourself to eat any of that crap again?

That’s what I’ve been doing for the last 2 weeks.

Here’s the trouble with ordering a diet online. You’ve made the commitment to start the diet but you have to wait for the actual diet stuff to show up. In that wait time there’s a good chance you’re going to pack on an extra 10lbs of Dairy Queen burgers.

I haven’t eaten a fast-food burger in about 4 years. No joke. I don’t eat at those places. The closest we come is a local, Vancouver chain called White Spot. But White Spot buys all it’s stuff locally so you know that the cows in their burgers have not been fed their little chicken friends rather than grass. (more on that some other time….don’t get me started)

Anyway, so I’ve been eating quite a bit.

Scratch that.

I’ve been eating twice as much as I would normally do.

It all came to a head on Tuesday night when I skipped my running clinic to get Pad Thai. I figure that Pad Thai is quite likely one of the worst diet foods on the planet so I wanted to make sure I got it in me before the Isagunk clouded my judgement and made me shun it.

Oh was it good! No joke. Likely the best Pad Thai ever.

Mmm, Pad Thai. I probably should stop writing Pad Thai because now that I’m on the cleanse the mere mention of food makes me famished!

May 7 2010

Is the Isagenix Cleanse a scam?

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Have you been searching around the internet to find out if the Isagenix Cleanse is a scam or not? I did the same thing. I looked all over the place, found a ton of articles on the cleanse and was unable to find anything about it being a scam.

Like most women I think I’m fat. I actually don’t think I look that bad but then I’ll see a photo I wasn’t ready for and BAMB! “Holy crap! Is that my ass???”

These photos occasionally are shoved in front of my face by well-wishing Facebook friends who think that it looks fine. That’s because they see me the same way the photo does. I, on the other hand, see me as a size 8, sometimes even size 6, athletically built goddess. Imagine my shock when I realize it’s closer to size 14! Stupid friends. Stop showing me photos of myself. So mean!

So, after an exhaustive (20 min) search of finding only really great things to say about Isagenix, and seeing the results my good friend Jill had, I decided it was time for me to get my shit together and start doing something to improve the waistline.

It didn’t hurt that Jill runs a cool ski trip to South American each year and has been making comments about me joining them this year. That’s pretty serious motivation for me. I’m not in good enough shape to ski for 6 straight days at the moment so a trip to Argentina to ski was just the right kind of kick in the ass I’d need to get said shit together.

Just a little background (I’m not going to give you a sales pitch, there are plenty of them around. This is just stuff I’ve learned about Isagenix while searching) First of all, Isagenix isn’t just a diet. It’s more like a healthy cleanse. I know that there are a lot of other ones out there  that claim to be healthy too, like Wild Rose, but Isagenix really is what it says it is.

(NB: have you done the Wild Rose? Those pills you take to “regulate” your bowels are scary! Sure they regulate you but usually when you’re stuck in traffic or on a hike or something. The only way I can do Wild Rose is if I strap a toilet to my back. Which is also tough to hike with)

Isagenix is apparently (and I could be wrong here but I read this on the internet so it must be true ;) the only cleanse that the Canadian Ministry of Health has given it’s seal of approval to. That’s saying something because those Ministry of Health peeps in Ottawa are not generous with their seals.

I figured that the only way to give you a real taste of what it’s like to do the cleanse is to keep a bit of a blog journal. That way you can follow along as I plunge into dieting hell and know exactly what you’d be getting into before you decide if this is the thing for you.

So, read along as I post about Cleansing with Isagenix. It should at least be entertaining!

May 7 2010

Do Whales do Yoga?

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You have to wonder where all the om’ing started and I think I have the answer, I’m pretty sure that whales do yoga.

How do I know?

Well, while struggling through yoga today, I was rewarded with the mac daddy of yoga, the shavasanah. Ahhhh, I love this part, it’s my favourite. The corpse pose. I don’t even care that it has such a scary handle, I live for it.

You lie there dead, at the end of the practice. Everything feels really cool. it’s all tingly etc.

This new studio I’ve just joined (and paid for a month so I’ll actually go) has some pretty nice, modern ideas. The poses were different and kind of fun, when I wasn’t swearing at the instructor under my breath.

But during the shavasanah I had a relalation, no, an epiphany! I realized that whales are the original yogis! No joke.

Seriously, have you ever listened to the chanting stuff that they play at the end of yoga? That quasi-music that isn’t waves or birds but sounds a bit like humming. I think it might be monks chanting but it seems to vibrate right through the centre of your heart (that’s if you’re doing it right and not fighting your inner type A. Which I tried today)

I love this music stuff. Feels good. Feels like a mini vibrator on my chest. But guess what? It also sounds just like whales. You know that new age weird junk that people have cd’s of or special music players that help them fall asleep. Same sounds!

Now I’m convinced that whales have it all figured out. Ooooohhhhhhmmmmmm!!!!! (oops, probably shouldn’t have exclamation marks after that, it’s not very zen J

May 6 2010

Stop Like Saying Like, Like

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I can’t get over how many people now use the word “like” as punctuation. “Hey Jacquie, did you like want to do yoga today or would you like rather go drown yourself in the toilet to get away from my like dreadful grammar?”

Ahhhhh! I hate this habit.

It used to just be kids who puntuated every sentence, and several times throughout it, with the word like. But now it’s parents too. I guess the generation gap has closed firmly on correcting grammar in children. Obviously this happened with the Millennials or maybe even that Generation Y group that made up about 10 minutes of the generational timeline.

I can’t figure out what happened. One minute my mom was down my throat about using the word like, until I would self-correct just to shut her up. The next minute I was correcting my own kids.

Someone has dropped the ball here. Who is it? I demand to know who has allowed this to happen?

Have you watched any vapid stars on tv lately who use “like” throughout their dialogue? That’s written for them! Yikes! If it’s being written into the scripts then what hope do we have of thwarting this linguistic abomination?

I once interviewed a girl for a receptionist position. Within 10 seconds of her opening her mouth I knew there was no way she was going to get the job. You just can’t have someone answering the phone “Good like morning, Nexon like Publishing. Who would you like, like to speak with?”

The interview dragged on for 20 minutes because my boss had told me that 20 minutes is the appropriate amount of time to make them feel like you’ve given them a chance to win your heart. That was 20 minutes of my life that I will never, like, get back. I feel cheated by that.

I almost feel bad for my kids. They don’t talk like their peers. The don’t even talk like their teachers. Many of the  younger teachers employ this horrendous grammatical mistake in their own speech! AHhhhhhh!

I don’t know the answer. I’m hoping that it will just go away although I think that may be a bit naive.

Between my girls and I we can correct only so many people. Some don’t want to be shown the light of lovely speech.


If you have any ideas on how to get the general population to stop like saying like, like I’d be forever indebted to you.

Oh, what about cattle prods? I bet that would work! ;)