May 30 2010

I Fucking Hate Bikrams (Hot Yoga)

I fucking hate hot yoga (Bikrams). I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!

Look at this guy in the photo. Is this a good testament for hot yoga? I don’t think so! Sure he’s skinny and bendy but really, do you want to be THAT skinny? Or even THAT bendy?

I hate all the people in hot yoga too. In their little short shorts or even bathing suits. With their hot little bodies looking all tanned and glistening.

Throughout the practice the instructor is forever saying nonesense like “don’t compare yourself to others” “don’t push too hard”. They don’t mean it. They want you to look at all those other people and wish you were them. They tell you that every pose has a progression and that even the masters have never found the end of that progression.

WTF? I’m NEVER going to be good at this? Ever? What? What’s the point?

I will admit that I have just finished a hot yoga class. Rumours abound that all the hip opening causes emotional upheaval in people. I don’t see it….well, maybe I’m a little big angry at hot yoga but I refuse to believe my irritation has anything to do with my tight hips. (30 years of running is not conducive to loose hips. Loose lips on the other hand….that’s a different post)

Yet, somewhere in the back of my type A mind, I feel that maybe hot yoga is better for you than regular yoga. It’s harder, you breath harder, your muscles stretch more, everything hurts afterwards…and for days.

Damnit! Now I’m making a case to actually do MORE Bikrams.

I’m not entirely sure that yoga that makes you angry is the way to go but maybe I’ll give it another chance. I don’t wanna look like this guy though. Promise me that won’t happen.