May 24 2010


God I hate homework! I mean I really hate it. Why the hell should I have to learn math all over again, in an entirely different way, than the last time I was forced to learn it?

I don’t get it.

Isn’t the teacher’s job to teach math? If my kid comes home with some math questions that ask things like “write a number sentence for the following” and the teacher does not include a sheet of paper with the definition of “number sentence” why should I be sentenced to math hell?

It’s fine for my kid to be frustrated and annoyed with math, it’s her education. I’ve done it all already!

Luckily this year (grade 6) Layne has a great teacher who does not give me a withering look because Layne (and I) could not complete her assigned homework. Deep down I imagine she thinks I’m a moron but at least she doesn’t let on, to my face. Good thing too because in my usual yoga, zen state, I rarely lose it but I think that having the onus on me to teach my kid stupid math concepts is reason to blow.

The worst part is that I know how to do math, I do. I really do. Swear to God.

I can deduct 20% off of any item in any store in any country in the world. To me, this is the only practical application for math. That may make me sound like an idiot but really, how often are you finding the common denominator for things?

In the last 20 years I bet that has come up 3x. Now with the internet, I don’t even have to know how to do it, I’m sure there is an app for that.

Of course, if there is Armageddon, I’m totally screwed. I’m sure, in a post-apocalyptic world, I’m going to be left behind because I can’t estimate the food intake of the people living in my geodesic dome.

I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.